A Parade Called Life
by Ataokoloinona
Summary: Any character, any pairing, any prompt, any outcome.
1. Uncried

This... progression if you will, will be a sort of dumping ground for all stories that don't get their own section. So basically anything that isn't full length or is just a doodle will end up here. Feel free to PM me any prompt you like, it can be hard coming up with them all myself.

* * *

"Uncried"

Prompt- Pein and beginnings

* * *

What does it really matter, what happens? Who says any of this is real? It's all in our head anyway. Reality. Perception. The places in between.

We all just want reasons. We all just _want_. To hate. To feel good. To be important. To _be_.

And what does it matter anyway?

Because in the end we'll choke on a ham sandwich or get blown up in some war. Death. It happens no matter what we do. Where is the meaning in it?

So why can't I just lie down and submit? To die? Or just carry on? If it doesn't really matter?

I don't know but I can't do it.

There is something in me that screams and boils. My very soul is tormented but recoils at the thought of giving up. And I don't understand it.

And I can't do it.

But I've realized it doesn't matter so that's why it does.

We are here. _I_ am here. So I have to make my own realities. Wants. Reasons.

And if I do that then I am right. Who can say "no" when I am all there is?

People. They hurt themselves. Each other. Because they aren't strong. They don't know how to control themselves. Or their hatred. They run around in confusion and anger and to what point and purpose?

I will be that law. I will transcend because I can. I want to. I _need_ to.

There can be meaning. Maybe I will find it when there is quiet.

I will make that quiet. I will be that quiet.

I want to hear. I want to see. I want to _know_.

Evil makes the good. Contentment comes from strife. From grief will come my happiness. Our happiness. From violence will come my redemption.

Because I am full of hatred I will be this world's God.

I will have my meaning. I will take it from the sky.


	2. Produced in Columbia

This one is slightly AU-ish, it could go either way, so just a heads up.

* * *

"Produced in Columbia"

Prompt- Kiba, Lee and Political Correctness

* * *

"And you know what else kills me? Toilet seat covers! What a waste of paper! Don't you think? The only reason we have them is cause people are weird about their bodies. Am I? No. So why does everyone else have to be? It doesn't make sense!"

A warm summer breeze drifted in through the window and stirred the faded curtains and the dust from the sills. It was one of those quiet warm days that slyly lull you to sleep one nod and droopy eye lid at a time. The general murmur in the room was almost imperceptibly slowing and deepening. The birds called to each other outside and if you listened hard enough you could hear the rhythmic _shoosh, shoosh, shoosh_ of the sea.

That Kiba wasn't calm and was in fact almost yelling was ridiculous. Lee yawned and stirred his lukewarm coffee for the fifth time in the last minute or so and leaned on his hand. He should have known that agreeing to meet Kiba for coffee was a bad idea. He should have remembered that Kiba offering to pay for anything was a bad idea. But he was a sucker for his friends. Gai-sensei called it his "youthful vigor", but right now he almost wanted to disagree. Right now he was just stupid.

"Kiba-san, don't you think that maybe there are toilet seat covers because of disease?"

"That's another thing! If people didn't go around humping everything with a hole we wouldn't have diseases!! It's called condoms people! God!" And with that he brought his fist down on the table nearly flipping over his drink.

The loud noise however caused Lee to jump from startlement and cause nearly everyone in that coffee shop look at them disapprovingly. Lee wanted to leave, or melt into the floor or something. "Youthful vigor" was one thing but shouting about STD's in the middle of a public coffee shop was totally something else.

"Kiba-san please, not here!"

"Oh? Am I bothering you Lee? I thought you were all over this "youth" thing. Don't tell me you're embarrassed." Kiba smirked.

Typically Lee really liked Kiba's tribal tattoos. He liked their bright, bold red color. He liked the way they were jagged and graceful. He admired Kiba for getting them on his face, he had heard that was one of the most painful places to get tattooed or pierced. But right now he hated how they crinkled up under Kiba's smile.

"Kiba-san it isn't polite to talk about things like that in public."

"You sound like my mother... no, wait, you don't. My ma is crazy. You sound like... Sakura's mother, or Shino's mom. What's your deal? I thought you'd agree with me. Don't tell me your into all the PC shit. I hate all those whiney bastards who can't deal with the truth."

"That isn't it Kiba-san. It's gross to talk about such personal matters in public places."

"Gross? Of course it's gross. And you want to know why it's gross? It's cause all those motherfuckers don't get tested before they get in someone's pants! That's why it's gross!"

Lee buried his face into his elbow and shoved his cold coffee away. Today was too warm and pleasant to be "youthful", so just screw it. Wait... that didn't sound quite right... Screw that too!

"Kiba, just shut up ok? I don't want to hear you complain. I'm too tired."

"Oh hoh! Look at you." Kiba laughed. "Finally. You know you just won me a bet?"

Lee looked up at Kiba incredulously. "A bet?"

"Yeah, I bet Naruto that I could get you to be "unyouthful", for a while I thought he would win but I guess my famous bitching has won me twenty bucks!" Kiba clapped his hands together and grinned again.

Lee felt something inside snap. A bet? _A BET_?! This whole afternoon wasted because of a BET?! He felt like punching something, he didn't care what Gai-sensei would say if he saw him...

No he did care. He was better than twenty bucks. He was better than twenty bucks. He was better than twenty bucks.

But then Kiba stood up and with one foot up on the chair gave him a thumbs up. His tattoos were still crinkled and that. Was. It.

"How's that for political correctness? Eh Lee? Pretty good huh?"

No he had been wrong. That was it.

He pushed himself up and lunged at Kiba, rolling them both out of the entrance of the coffee shop.

"A bet? A bet?! This... is... not a BET!"

Panting they both grappled in the dirt on the sidewalk, people kept looking at them but kept walking. It was too warm to break up a fight.

"What the hell? It's too hot for you to spaz out like this. God I should get more money for this bullshit."

"_ARGH!"_

"You're taking this "youthful" crap too far man!"

Both their breathing was beginning to get labored and Lee was starting to think that maybe Kiba was right. But... he... shit. He pushed Kiba away and stood up, brushing the dirt of his once clean green tee-shirt.

"There see? Isn't that better? Dude you pack a mean punch."

He helped Kiba up and grinned. "Yes Gai-sensei helps me practice after school."

Kiba nodded and brushed himself off as well. His clothes were filthy, they were covered with spilled coffee and his shorts were ripped. But he was still grinning.

"So... how does it feel to be "unyouthful"?"

Kiba laughed as he ran away from a once more angry green beast.


	3. Karate Kid

"Karate Kid"

Prompt- Tenten and infomercials

* * *

"Oh. My. God..."

Neji stared dumbstruck at the screen and for a moment and wondered if he was under a genjutsu or if he had food poisoning or was in some morbid nightmare. No. He was normal.

He patted his chest just to be sure though.

There weren't any holes there. In fact patting his pristine jacket only brought wafts of fabric softener laden air to his nose. He touched his face. No blood. He blinked. He could see just fine. He was still in his living room, he could hear the birds outside.

Obviously they didn't know just how wrong the world was at the moment.

Then what hell was this?

He mutely took the remote in his hand and turned up the volume a few bars. No. Would his T.V. ever lie to him? He stood and walked a few uneasy circles across the plush navy carpet. Something was very wrong. Things like this just didn't happen.

The sky didn't fall. Bushes didn't just burst into flame. People just weren't whisked up into oblivion and things like _that_ were just _wrong_.

He paused and shook his head at the screen. He was utterly bewildered.

"Lee forget the lemonade you have to see this."

"Yes Neji-san."

Typically he didn't care at all about Lee's opinion, but this was just so wrong that he would make an exception this once.

"Is that...?"

"It is."

"And she's...?"

"She is."

"Why?"

"I do not know."

It seemed that Lee was just as much at a loss as he was. He hadn't said one Gai-ism as he liked to call them. Well he really would rather call them idiotic but that would brake protocol and he wouldn't have any stain on his near perfect Hyuuga record. It was his one sadistic pleasure... No, not his only one but definitely one of the more enjoyable ones, to make Hiashi squirm with his perfection. He really had nothing against Hinata but her birth and _that_ had been her father's fault for being born first. Though in the back of his mind he realized how ironic that was, but that didn't, and never would, bear thinking about.

But that was beside the point. Not even Lee had said something remotely normal about this situation and that was a very bad thing. _Very _bad.

"Should we do something Neji-san?"

"I don't think we can... It's too late I fear."

"But..."

"It's already _there._ What can we do?"

"That is very true Neji-san. Should we call Gai-sensei?"

"He couldn't do anything either. He might break in there and that would just make it worse. Then this incident would become news and that would be the end of it."

"That is true too. But I feel like we have to do something."

He pondered that. What could they do? They wouldn't be in this situation at all if Lee hadn't wanted to that documentary on the production of female hair products in the first place. Nothing good ever came from hair spray and now he was vindicated. It didn't matter if it was part of "youthification" as Lee had put it, hair spray was just _wrong_. As was the disturbing scene now playing on the screen.

"We should record this incident. That way we can prove it later if we need to."

"Ah! Yes Neji-san that is a very good thought. You truly are a genius and I bet you never even watch crime shows to know about evidence."

As Lee stood there with two dripping glasses of lemonade, nodding his head sagely Neji just wanted to slap his face. The things he had to put up with.

He shook off the crawly feeling he got whenever anyone said anything completely idiotic and dug around in the cabinet under the T.V., there should be something suitable in there somewhere.

"What are you doing Neji-san?"

It was all he could do not to groan but he did, he could show marvelous restraint when he wanted to.

"I am looking, Lee, for a tape to record this monstrosity on."

"Oh that is right Neji-san, I had forgotten."

Neji didn't even want to know what had went through his head to make him forget a conversation that had happened thirty seconds ago and so shrugged that off too.

Lion King... No. TMNT season two... No. Bill Nye the Science Guy... No. Buffy the Vampire Slayer complete from start to finish... No, definitely not.

Oh hear we go. Nico the Unicorn. He couldn't believe that Hinata had actually recorded that off of Disney like... _ages_ ago. He had a lurking suspicion that Hanabi liked it too, but this situation was too dire and Nico the fagicorn would just have to be sacrificed to his cause.

"I have it. Let's do this."

"Yes Neji-san, we must have evidence!"

Neji really did slap his face this time and then hit the record button on the VCR. Sometimes he'd rather have Naruto.

~O~

"Hey guys! How are you?"

Neji regarded her cheerful attitude suspiciously. Why was she there smiling after the atrocity that had been committed?

"I am fine Tenten."

"Tenten-chan! Today is a fine day and even the sun smiles down on us!"

Neji sighed and fidgeted with the bottom of his jacket zipper until he realized that _he_, _Neji Hyuuga,_ was _fidgeting_ and then stopped. It never ended. Fate was just too cruel to him.

"We have something we need you to see. And then we want some answers."

"...Ok?"

He nodded solemnly and turned around, expecting them both to follow him.

~O~

He waited until both Lee and Tenten were situated comfortably on the sofa before he held the video up for her to see.

"Nico the Unicorn? I didn't think you watched things like that Neji."

He slapped his face and then dragged his hand down. He could tell she was trying very hard to keep from laughing and that only aggravated him more.

"No! It's what's on the tape. On. The. Tape." He emphasized every word with a tap of his finger on the tape.

"Don't tell me some mermaid is going to jump out of there?" This time she did laugh and it took enormous will power from him not to stomp his foot down like a petulant child.

"You may laugh now but you won't after you see this. Right Lee?"

"What Neji-san?"

"Have you been paying attention at all?"

"I noticed Neji-san, that you have many squirrels in your yard. Their youthful scampering caught my attention for a moment but I shall pay full attention to you now!"

He had that stupid look on his face. The one where he scrunched his eyes and lips up into an almost-grimace and fisted his hands on his knees.

Tenten was full out belly laughing then and Neji did almost loose it at that moment.

But youthful squirrels aside answers were more important. This whole ordeal made him appreciate his hard childhood, if he hadn't had patience he would never have had the nerve to push through this nightmare.

He held the tape aloft once more. "I _said_," he glared at Lee then who snapped his eyes away from the window again. "that we need answers."

He popped the tape into the player and hit play.

"Explain _this_." and with that he flourished his hand toward the screen and stepped away.

Tenten flushed a bright red and covered her mouth with a hand.

"I-I can explain! I can!"

He nodded smugly as the tape played showing an overly cheerful Tenten in a horridly lurid yellow jumpsuit and a very large, _fake _smile on her face.

"As a shinobi I can use my hand like a knife." here she used her hand and broke a thick piece of wood, "but that doesn't work with tomatoes." she grinned as her hand flattened a tomato and the juice dripped down that awful jumpsuit, "that's why as a shinobi on the go I always have my Ginsu Knives with me for cooking."

He glanced over at Tenten who was staring at the screen in horror. And it hadn't even gotten to the good stuff yet.

"You'll love them as much as I do too they're dishwasher safe! And they can cut through anything, anything at all!" here she sawed through a tin can, a carrot and a bag of frozen spinach with that stupid grin plastered on her face. "What do you think these are worth?" she held up the knife in her hand and rubbed her thumb down the handle, "But wait! If you order now you'll get a set of six world famous Ginsu steak knives! They cut through nails but still slice just like that." she pulled the knife easily through a loaf of bread.

He glanced over at her again. Her mouth was opening and closing like a fish panting in the open air. This was so great. Lee on the other hand was back to watching the squirrels. He really didn't understand Lee sometimes.

She looked over at him with her eyes glinting. "Make it stop! Please just turn it off!"

"Why? It isn't even at the good part yet!"

"These Ginsu cleaver knives can go through a whole branch and yet still cut through a tomato as if they were brand new! In fact the more you use them the sharper they get! And that isn't even it! Get all these knives for nine ninety-nine, just nine ninety-nine and we'll back you with a fifty year warrantee. These knives are guaranteed!"

"Stop it!"

"No!"

"In fact I don't even use kunai anymore I always use my trusty Ginsu knives! Order now at -."

Neji looked triumphant as Tenten buried her face in her hands.

"So what do you have to say to that?"

"I needed the money." Her voice was muffled by her elbows. "You don't get it, I have to pay rent! I was low on funds buying new scrolls! Kakashi told me about this job, he swore nobody would ever know! He said that they wouldn't even air it in this country! ... What a liar!"

He could only laugh at her admission.

"Well I think we learned two valuable lessons today: one, never trust Kakashi-san and two, you don't look good in yellow at all."


	4. Of Lye and Talc

"Of Lye and Talc"

Prompt- Hinata and slavery

* * *

Reality was a nightmare. Her life was a nightmare. She herself was a nightmare. A harsh yell. A gasping wail. It was. It had been. And she feared it ever would be.

She hid it all behind shy smiles and fidgeting fingers, but that was the truth. The sun didn't touch everywhere and sometimes what occurred behind closed doors mattered more than the sunshine.

Death was the sure thing. Life was tentative at best but death was a given. As soon as there was life the death was guaranteed. She was tired of death. There was more behind her pale eyes than she would let on, even to herself.

It sickened her. All the murder and betrayal. Not only in her own family. This "business". If you had the cash you could wipe out a life. An existence. A soul. She was part of that cycle. That vicious circle of decay. _Death._ The stench of it never left her mind.

She had been told since she was a small child that the good of the individual would always be sacrificed to the good of the majority. That was why she had been born. That was why her uncle was dead. Her cousin bound and full of anger and misery.

The thought made her frantic and sick inside. She felt some desperate, harsh need to run. It was almost primal, that need. Fight or flight. She wanted to run; but there was nowhere to go. Nowhere safe. Nowhere where she could escape her own thoughts. Her singing blood.

And everywhere there was that symbol _staring_ at her. That hateful sign of her captivity. The proof of all hatred.

It was even more pronounced since it wasn't burned into her skin as well. Always there. Mocking her.

If there was fate or destiny or some force outside this earth, she wished that it would strike her down and even the balance. Sometimes. Other times she wished that she could conquer it. To be everything that was expected of her. That _he _expected of her.

But all she seemed to get, in excess, was rebuke, ridicule, disappointment, anger. These things tainted every aspect of her life. And always that sign. Her dreams were haunted with their _looks_. Their hollow eyes, judging her.

She tried not to ever curse. It was her small rebellion that she wouldn't cave and be vulgar at her toss of fate. Like die cast in a poker game. That's what it felt like, there was no skill involved, all there was, was chance. It didn't seem to matter though, nobody understood it. It was taken for granted, like her meager scrap of existence. For a fault it never seemed like much of a victory.

What were hopes and dreams to that? What was love to the sacrifice? The never ending onslaught of injustice? She longed for it. That love. Anything really. Anything opposite to what she had known her whole life. She yearned for ignorance. She recoiled from it. It was unknown.

She would do anything for it. For that door to open. For that idea to become more than a passing thought or fancy. For the sun. For the smile. For the kiss.

For it to matter again.

She remembers when she was a little girl, when the sun shone and the birds sang. When the song didn't sound like raucous laughter or the coughs and moans of the sick and dying. She remembered when Neji had smiled at her.

She remembered.


	5. From Irrational, with Love

This was a duel request from my good friend Oni and my new friend Little Kunai. Oni wanted Kakuzu with his need for stability and/or his anger management problems while Little Kunai wanted something relatively steamy between Kakuzu and Tenten (ha). Well the steamy didn't happen but the potential sure did. Lawl. I hope you guys enjoy, and sorry for the wait.

* * *

"From Irrational, with Love"

Prompt- Kakuzu, Tenten, Hidan (I couldn't leave him out) and anger-filled stability... issues.

* * *

He didn't know why she was still alive. Or more accurately, he didn't know why he still let her live. It was just messy to leave loose ends like that; because not only had she recognized him, she had recognized him _and_ was a Leaf. In his book that was bad business.

Besides he was too old and efficient to turn over a new leaf like that now. He snorted at his joke as he continued to fail miserably at ignoring Hidan. When the annoyance looked over at him with a curse ready-made on his lips it was all he could do to keep his temper in check.

"The fuck was that?"

"Shut up Hidan."

Hidan shrugged up his shoulders as if he was about to argue but then let them slump back down and turned back to his scythe.

"Whatever old man."

He grit his teeth, yes he was old but the tone Hidan used to say it made it seem like he already had one foot in the grave. Which he supposed was technically true considering his chosen profession, but that wasn't what Hidan was insinuating. Not by a long shot.

As far as age was concerned it really didn't matter much for him. It couldn't. Not really. His techniques not only prolonged his life but suspended the aging process as well; and he supposed that if he continued exchanging hearts with his victims that his long life would continue until somebody finally managed to kill him. The idea of immortality was foolhardy. Everything came to an end. He didn't like thinking about it much though, just because it was true didn't mean he had to like it. His life didn't bear too much reflection anyway. However if he was forced to answer he would say he looked around thirty... Irony but there it was.

The girl did need thinking about though. He didn't know what it was about her that stilled his hand each time they met. However neither did she apparently. She never attacked him. In those few times where they met each other alone she would tilt her head as she regarded him, and then smile of all things before she leapt off to wherever it was she was going. It unsettled him, but he didn't like the idea of it stopping, he liked her little smiles and the way her muscles would coil just before she ran. Not running away, just running, like she enjoyed the movement and the breeze. He didn't know much about her, he didn't know why she behaved so strangely. But then again he wasn't either. All he could draw on was what he observed from every brief encounter, what he assumed about her. Which really wasn't all that much.

She was a Leaf shinobi obviously, but it didn't look like she had any special abilities or techniques. He thought this because of the sheer number of scars littering her body and her heavily calloused hands. She didn't seem rich. Most of her clothes were somewhat faded and threadbare, though there were never patches, she was always presentable and she was always clean. She did take extremely good care of her weapons however, they were always clean and sharp. Glinting cruelly in the light as though they were new, he knew they weren't which was why he was all the more impressed. She trusted him too much. He had seen the ever-present oil, rags and grinding stone in her travel pack, sometimes when she smiled at him she would stop to drink as well.

He smiled under his mask. Clean weapons. What a novelty. Hidan let old blood and gore build up in the grooves and joints of his scythe until it was either barely able to cut anything or it stank unbearably. Whichever came first. It was disgusting but Hidan insisted it added to his air of the divine harbinger of justice. He personally thought it was because Hidan was just too lazy to clean it regularly.

But the girl's weapons were always pristine, always clean and sharp. He sighed, if only his own partner were so neat. And efficient too. She dispatched most of her enemies quickly without unnecessary violence or noise. Hidan always dragged out his battles as long as he physically could. It wasted money and daylight, not to mention his patience, which had always been tenuous at best. Though her team's fight with Kisame had been sketchy, it was only to be expected. In fact he had been rather pleased to hear they had all survived though it had been a loss for their faction. She had potential, she was already slightly above average for a ninja, he could only imagine the level of her power if properly cultivated.

However now was not the time unfortunately. Perhaps when Pein's plans had come to fruition he could convince her to come with him, it would be folly to stay in a prominent shinobi village when those would surely be the first to go... or he could always steal her away, he grinned. The idea was appealing to him. Something of value that wasn't monetary. The concept was almost as novel as clean weaponry. They could complement each other well he was sure, they were both very versatile, both long and short range fighters. Her genjutsu was lacking but it would matter little in compare to her speed. Weapons needed no preparation or casting time, they merely were.

Yes, the idea was appealing. And he would never say it aloud, but he wouldn't mind the chance to see her more often. He liked demure women. She was lithe with the soft brown eyes he found he liked the most. He idly wondered how her paler skin would contrast with his.

He was shaken from his revery by another outburst of Hidan's. He narrowed his eyes in anger, would the boy never shut up?

"Oy! Fuckface, you thinkin 'bout that girl ain'tcha?" Hidan smiled knowingly, "I knew even for an old geezer like you, you still had the... _urge_."

The one thing Kakuzu hated more than those smirks of Hidan's was his raucous laughter. It was loud and ringing and bit into the back of his mind. It was _that_ kind of laughter. It was obnoxious just like everything else about Hidan.

Deliberately and very slowly, he coiled his threads about Hidan's throat and constricted until his annoyingly triumphant smirk was replaced with frantic scrabbling, wide eyes and blue lips. It figured he wouldn't see a bull rampaging towards him until it was too late. Hidan had never died yet but his fear of death and the ever-present shadow of whatif's were still healthy and strong in him. He grinned maliciously at Hidan. He knew of Hidan's dread, that next time could be the _last _time. He figured that explained Hidan's fanaticism, he wasn't so very special. He was afraid just like every other man.

Just for good measure Kakuzu lifted Hidan by his throat into the air and kicked him in the shins before dropping him unceremoniously into a gasping, quivering heap on the floor. His patience only went so far, and Hidan always managed to find the brink, but since he never seemed to die no matter what violence was done to his body he felt no guilt or semblance of remorse when taking out his anger on the hapless man. He would have thought the idiot would have learned sooner, but some small part of him wasn't unhappy with the fact. If nothing else, Hidan made a good punching bag.

Hidan could still not speak and Kakuzu's composure was restored. Hidan was an ass and would probably always be an ass. That wasn't any different then normal. However he decided that next time he saw the girl he'd ask her out or something. Whatever it was that two people who liked each other did these days. He supposed she liked him as well in some measure, after all, she never tried to attack him; which was odd. He paused. He never thought he'd see the day but it looked like Hidan had actually been helpful for once. Helpful not being quite the same as useful.

He regarded the man who still lay in a puddle of his own drool on the floor in a tangle of limbs and angry glares. He was still trembling and his mouth was forming words, more curses no doubt, but still no sound. No doubt his nervous system hadn't gotten over "dying" quite yet. He laughed silently. He was sure his little outburst would have killed a lesser man, that was how it went. Life never failed to surprise him, to distort what was typical and reasonable. Like Hidan. Like the girl.

He rubbed his wrist contemplatively, Hidan was a little heavier than he had anticipated, before nodding to Hidan and in a rough, low voice said, "Thank you Hidan" and left their room.

He felt good today and smiled when he heard the strangled grunt that followed him out the door.


	6. Prodigal Impractical

If you see any mistakes let me know, as always, it's just that this time I only read through it once and it's three in the morning...

And I seem to be writing excessive amounts of angst lately...

* * *

"Prodigal Impractical"

Prompt- Tsunade and graveyard shifts

* * *

Maybe, if she's being honest with herself, she doesn't drink so much sake because she likes it, but rather because it allows her to forget. For a while. Though she does enjoy the slick burn of it in her throat and the cover it gives for tears she doesn't like to admit may be real.

That is what her life seemed to consist of. One cover or another. She supposed she liked to gamble so much because it was exciting, it was a rush. Did she win or did she lose? Should she go again? Should she run? It was hype that didn't threaten her emotions. It was something detached from herself. And in it's very essence it was unpredictable, but like anything else people have touched it's been tainted. Cheating.

Which was ironic really, because that was what ninja were. They were cheaters. They manipulated energy that the majority of people didn't even know existed, much less possessed. They hid themselves in the dark, behind uniforms, protocol. Intricately placed masks. Ninja were feared because of so much more than a quick dispatch to the afterlife. They were like the embodiment of the unknown. They were dangerous.

They were dangerous to themselves.

She took another sip from another cup, another jug. One among many. Though now that she was Hokage she watered her liquor down. She may have a reputation as an alcoholic but that didn't mean she couldn't put duty before pleasure.

She snorted. Pleasure. Sure...

But who would have thought that she would be back in this place? That she'd be the damn _Hokage_ of all things? When she had left she had never thought to return. She would have laughed had anyone mentioned such a ridiculous thing. And yet here she was.

Once more dragged into things she didn't quite understand or even particularly like. But she was a sucker for happy endings. And looking at that snot nosed brat she had seen one. Or at least the flickering promise of a maybe. Which was a heck of a lot more than anything she had had going for her.

A broke ass quitter on the lam from loan sharks and the winners of gambles she had lost. Yep, a real noble, awe-inspiring image if you asked her. She took another sip. Nothing like homelessness and a pig with allergies to draw loyalty to her.

She laughed.

But that kid... He'd done it to Jiraiya too. What was it about that kid? Maybe it wasn't so much the kid as the fact that there could be a kid like him in a place like Konoha. That was what made him noteworthy. That had her crawling back to this god-forsaken place kicking and screaming.

She didn't think any one of them would have ever thought they'd come back. Though they did. She and Jiraiya for that kid. Orochimaru for the other one. Same team for the same team. Another inexplicable tie between people who probably wished they could just forget.

She discarded her little cup in favor of just gulping down the jug. Watered down or not.

They had never really gotten along anyway. What had they been anyway? The loudmouthed perv, the lazy drunk and the freak with control issues. A disaster that's what.

But if she was being honest again, which she really hated being, she wouldn't change those few brief years for anything. Maybe that was a reason as well. That she was back in this hell hole. She was being too sentimental.

Though having her head carved into a cliff was a pretty decent perk...

She wiped a dribble of sake off her chin with a thumb.

The paperwork was a bitch though. She never could have seen _that _coming. Who ever would have thought that Kages wouldn't be out kicking ass all the time? But in reality they were chained to their desks. Well, Shizune had threatened it every so often. Well work was work, as comforting as _that_ thought could be.

She wondered vaguely if Orochimaru ever did paperwork... and promptly choked on her sake. Sputtering she laughed hysterically. _Orochimaru_? Doing _paperwork_?! _Hilarious_!

She hiccuped a bit as she used her sleeve to smear away her spill.

Honestly Jiraiya was the most normal and well adjusted one out of the three. And that was saying something. It seemed like it was his unofficial mission to try and steal her underwear every time he came to Konoha. And as much as he protested it, it wasn't in the least bit endearing. And the truly galling part was having to heal her damage to him later anyway. It always felt good at the time though.

A connection to the past that didn't sting like salt in a festering wound. Wasn't that wonderful? And it just had to involve her underwear too. With a flick of her wrist she embedded her pen in the far wall and leaned back in her chair.

Life sucked.

She smiled at herself.

Life _did_ suck. Life _had _sucked. But that brat seemed to make it a little better. He was so determined not to let himself get down that he brought everyone else back up with him. It was a talent she seemed to appreciate more, and have the pleasure of enjoying, everyday.

Maybe it had been the seeming hopelessness that they had seen in the past that drove them away in the first place. The misunderstanding. The fear. Who's fear? Who really knows? Everyone fears something at some time or another.

There was some difference in wishes and dreams she had noticed.

It was that defiance that drew them all in. Even Orochimaru if what her reports indicated held any merit.

That defiance of rules. Of normalcy. Of apathy.

It drew them all back to this _place_. This time. Out of hiding, back into the world she knew better than any she had tried to know. Tried and failed, she might add. Though it seemed Orochimaru had never left. Opting instead for the underground.

Although how creating his own village was considered going "underground" by any means was beyond her.

She missed him. Their dysfunctional little team. She missed how they had bickered and fought and loved, even when the love tasted more then hate. She even missed that. It was better than the flat out ridicule they saved for each other now.

Even though she missed it she didn't want it back. Whatever it was that was in them that prompted them to leave was still there. It had always been there. And she was too selfish to ever want that again.

But she could dream, and drink sake, and pretend it was different.

It was a lot more fun than this shitload of paperwork she had to do anyway.

The old man had always told them that the fire of Konoha flickered in the shadows of the leaves, or some shit like that.

Maybe she was starting to understand now.

It wasn't until you were covered in darkness that the fire could truly shine. Maybe the tailed beasts served their purpose after all. Their shadows were certainly dark enough for any candle flame to be a beacon.

She wished that she could be ignorant again, blissfully ignorant. To not know the hardships of the world.

... No. She didn't. She had gained understanding of the difference between happiness and pain from those few years. She had gained every hard lesson. Every joyful moment. Every bitter tear.

She could not wish to give all those memories away. Her headband was hard earned and now maybe she had come to really appreciate it. It was one thing to cower in fear at the things you could not change.

It was the way of the shinobi to get around that fear or to harness that fear and do the job that needs to be done.

Everyday until life left her body.

She smiled and set the empty sake jug aside.

As Hokage it was her right and privilege to see winter and spring.

As she twirled in her chair she looked out on the night. Out on her village. It really wasn't just some place. It was Konohagakure. _Her _Konoha.

And she'd keep it that way. No matter what the past had been or what the future held. This present was a promise.

Yes, sooner or later they all would have returned.

Home was not just some place easily abandoned or forgotten. _Home_ is a place inextricably bound to their hearts.

She glanced at her empty jug of sake and sighed. Then brushed it off her desk into the garbage can.

She prayed for their souls that night as she flicked the lights off.

She went through the motions of closing up shop mechanically. She was the only one still there.

The night-wind on her face was cool.

It was some incorporeal comfort she likened to the feeling of love. Or to the determined glint she remembers in their eyes.

She needed more sake...


	7. Miss Me Darling?

This was written because in my head none of the Akatsuki are dead lol. Granted some of their death battles were good, but they're Akatsuki for goodness sake. There is no way in my mother's basement that gennin could pick them off like they did. For instance Hidan killed Asuma, a jounin, and then was killed by Shikamaru, who technically was a chuunin, but _still. _So yeah, welcome to my reality, I've rejected your's and substituted my own. Hahaha.

Though I have to say that this may just be one of my favorite pieces of my own fanfic yet. It's just fun.

And the next one up in this little party we have going on here is a request from TheRoseandtheDagger who wanted Jiraiya contemplating his death... So yeah, just bunches of fun hey? Lol. And don't forget that you too, all you anonymous hits out there, could request things too. Because I know you're all out there, my hit count does not lie lol.

* * *

"Miss Me Darling?"

Prompt- Sakura, Sasori and the Unexpected (hahaha)

* * *

"You're not... dead?"

"What does it look like to you?" His voice was flat, just like she remembered. Flat yet still mocking, she didn't know how he did it.

"But Kankuro is using your body! How in the...? And you were replaced in Akatsuki! We all saw Tobi or whatever his name is! What the hell is this?"

She spun around and began to pace. "This is a dream. This is all just a dream. I knew I must have had some problems when I started hearing that voice in my head. I knew I should have gotten some... I don't know... counseling or something! Damnit I'm such an idiot! This has gone into some serious neurosis. Maybe it's delayed Post Traumatic Stress disorder... _really _delayed. Hell if I see Chiyo-baa-san I'll know it's true..."

She paused in her pacing and turned back to him, "So where are you hiding her you bastard?"

"Excuse me?" His lips quirked into a slow crooked smile, but his eyes remained impassive and gazed at her as they had when she had first walked in here.

"Don't you get snarky with me you... you.... just don't! You're in my head anyway. I control this. I do. I don't... _No! Snap out of it_! This is all in my head!"

She turned back to him and glared, "So? Come on, where is she?"

His mouth quirked up higher and he pulled his hands from the inside of his cloak to cross over his chest.

"Last time I don't remember you being this stupid."

She clenched her fist and counted to ten before she went ballistic and got herself killed.

Chiyo-baa-san wasn't here to save her now.

"_Last time_ I remember you being dead. Spitted on two swords. Dead as a door nail... Dead as in... well, _dead_! So this is a dream, no, a nightmare and what the hell are you doing in my head!"

He looked down at his spread fingers as if they were the most fascinating things in the world and casually raised his eyes to meet her glare once more, "You really need to work on that temper of yours, it's truly surprising to find you aren't dead yet do to your stupidity."

She grit her teeth, this guy really knew how to get on her nerves, "I don't need my own hallucinations to insult me, it's bad enough that you did it when you were real."

His eyes drooped, he looked as if he was about to go to sleep or was just incredibly bored. She found that one gesture was more infuriating then his snide insults about her mental stability.

"You still think I'm dead? I can assure you I'm not. Even you must know a live body from a dead one."

"But it's just not possible! Suna took your body! Kankuro is _using you as a tool_! How is there even the remotest possibility you're still alive? I saw you fall!"

"Then you're an idiot. Didn't your sensei teach you better?"

She pinched the, well the technical term for it was the "Glabella" but that seemed overly formal for an occasion like losing her mind, bridge of her nose and counted another ten. She didn't know why people told her to do that, it never worked. The only thing that ever seemed to work was beating the ever loving snot out of things, but she had a feeling that wouldn't work this time. Not if he really wasn't a hallucination, or even if he was a hallucination, which she fervently prayed he was. Either way she was stalemated.

Just a hallucination, right down to his cute little snub nose... Wait? What?

"Well? Who's responsible for this tragedy known as Haruno Sakura?"

"No, no, no, no, no. I'm not falling for it. Nope, not me. You can go away now, I want to... to go to bed or something. This has been the weirdest day ever." She closed her eyes and hoped that when she opened them again he'd be gone.

He sighed, "I'm still here you know."

No such luck apparently.

She slumped, "I figured as much, so are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

"If you're done with the theatrics I'd love to." He smirked at her, which was really irking considering he was a damn puppet.

"Fine, can we at least sit down?"

"Very well, I forget how normal humans tire so easily."

"Shut up, you were pretty tired looking when we killed you."

"I suppose so, if I were really dead."

"Oh yeah..."

"Little details like that can be so annoying can't they?"

"I said shut up." With a humph she sat down on a boulder and waited for him. Kunai ready in the sleeve of her glove just in case. Not that it really mattered though, weapons were pretty useless most of the time. That she saw anyway. Everyone always had some marvelous technique that they'd just pull out their asses in the end. But oh well, having it there made her feel better and so she'd keep it. Besides she hoped that if it pricked her she'd wake up. She had a sinking feeling that she wasn't though, but she could dream. Haha, dream, she was _so _funny.

"I'm not going to attack you, it really goes against why I came in the first place."

"I don't care, it's staying."

"Whatever."

"So you can start with why you aren't in Kankuro's closet... or wherever he keeps you things."

"It's really degrading to hear you talk about my art like that, much less my own body and what Kankuro has, whoever that is, is one of my backup bodies."

"That's just... kinda gross don't you think?"

"I turned my body into a puppet what do you think?"

"I keep forgetting that..."

"I noticed. Anyway it wasn't just my heart I had to save, it surprised me you didn't realize that immediately considering your reputed skill as an up and coming medic, but that's how it goes isn't it? One opponent underestimating the other. That's why there is always a winner and a loser."

She huffed under her breath, "We still won."

"Not really if I'm still here, though I guess I can acknowledge that our battle was impressive."

She smiled, "Thanks, I always thought so myself."

"Though your part was relatively small," She bristled, "but we can't all help the level of innate talent we possess can't we?"

She clenched her fist, innate talent her ass! "Oh come off it."

He smirked again, "Very well. As I was saying even though my body is for the most part artificial I'm still human, and any human needs more than just a heart to live."

She stared at him wide-eyed, "You had more cores?"

He snorted, "Of course you stupid girl, what do you take me for? You really think an old hag and a little girl like you could finish me off so easily?" He tapped his temple, "Use your head now."

She bit her lower lip in confusion until it hit her, "You _bastard_!"

He waggled a finger in her face, "Temper, temper. You'll get wrinkles early if you keep scrunching your face like that every time you get angry." He shrugged, "Besides it isn't my fault you were both idiots."

"I really hate you right now."

"I don't really care whether you like me or not. Now we have business to do."

"What?"

He sighed heavily, as if he were trying to explain how to make shadow clones to academy students, she didn't like it one bit. "I didn't just come here to discuss my body and _your _failings, I was sent." He paused, "As in this is a mission."

"But I thought..."

"What you thought is probably wrong so why don't you just save yourself the embarrassment and shut up now?"

"You don't have to sound so smug about it."

"But this is just so entertaining, it isn't often that I get to enjoy myself like this. Stupid. Little. Girl."

She growled and tried to punch that stupid grin off his face but hadn't noticed those damn chakra strings he'd attached to her legs. She couldn't move and she was just out of reach to punch him in the face. She cursed under her breath as he lifted her into the air.

"That isn't anyway to conduct business. You could afford to learn some more manners. Now where were we?"

"Shut up and put me down!"

"Like that's any way to ask. Besides it's much easier to talk this way when I don't have to worry about you losing your temper so easily. Though by all means lose your temper, I'm just going to hold you in place here."

She grumbled but decided that she didn't really want to piss him off when she couldn't do anything to stop him. Instead she crossed her arms over her chest and defiantly stared at him. It was the best she could do.

"Good girl. Anyway I've come to offer you a deal. Seeing as you're almost at the level of Tsunade, Leader has deemed you a threat and you must either be eliminated as such or added as one of our own, in my opinion it would be more like inured. But I don't make the rules I just follow them."

"What the hell makes you think I'll join you?"

He tapped her lightly on the forehead, "Only the part where you want to stay alive?"

She ground her teeth, this is why missions were always supposed to be carried out in pairs, so this kind of thing didn't happen, damnit!

She liked living, she liked breathing and eating and sleeping and she was sure if she'd ever tried it, she'd like fucking too, but now she'd never know.

Damnit, damnit, _damnit_!

"It's a simple decision really, and if I read Leader right you wouldn't even go on missions, you would just be our medic, much like you are at home if I'm correct." He smiled, "And I assume that I am. So? What are you going to do? Either way is relatively simple seeing as how I've got you under wraps anyway."

She felt a tear slide down her cheek, oh how she wished he'd just been a hallucination! But... it wasn't so bad right? At least they were giving her a choice right?

"I don't know what it is about you Leaves, but you are always so damn tedious. I'll decide for you, I don't much fancy having you around anyway. You're a bad taste in my mouth as it is."

She snorted, "Taste? Yeah right puppet boy."

"This is exactly what I mean, here I have you all strung out ready to kill and you still have the nerve to insult me. It's quite annoying."

"Just shut up."

He sat up a little straighter and with that stupid grin on his face and his too wide eyes and his cute little snub nose... scratch that last part, tapped his chin. "Though I suppose having you around would be better, then you could heal the Brat's arm and I wouldn't have to listen to him bitch so much." He looked down at her and it appeared that his eyes softened a little, "It isn't so bad girl, I don't think Akatsuki is ever going to get all the Jinchuuriki anyway. We've been at it what? Over a decade now anyway? Whatever Leader thinks he's going to do is probably not going to happen after so much time has gone by."

"That's quite a speech."

"Well, let's just say killing you would be more of a waste then a satisfaction."

"How generous of you." She deadpanned.

"I suppose so. So will you come with me quietly?"

"What if I said that I'd come with you but spend my every waking moment planning Akatsuki's downfall because there is no way in hell I'd help you kill Naruto?"

He gazed at her a minute before letting that infuriating grin come back to his lips, "Then I'd have to say that I don't really care what you do. If you hadn't noticed by now loyalty isn't something we Akatsuki do. We're all in it for our own reasons, not because we actually believe in our purpose. Whatever that is. And frankly it never mattered to me either way. So go right ahead girl, just be warned that certain members don't take well to open rebellion."

"Duly noted... can you let me down now?"

"Promise to be a good girl?"

"You do realize I'm eighteen now right?"

"I'm still older than you so it doesn't matter whether you're eight or eighteen."

"Shut up."

He snorted again and let her down and she proceeded to rub life back into her numb legs. It felt good to stand on her own two feet again.

"Follow me, we have things to do now that you've been inducted."

He turned and started walking to the west. She glanced to the south, towards home and wondered if she starting running right now if he'd be able to catch her or not.

"By the way, just because I let you down doesn't mean I let go of my chakra strings."

_Damn_.

So much for that.

She turned and followed him, wondering just what the hell she'd gotten herself into. She hoped that when Tsunade and the rest found out they'd know that she had been coerced. It wasn't like she _asked _for these things to happen. They just... sort of did. _All the freaking time_.

"So... we going to eat anytime soon?"


	8. Made to Last Forever

So FanFiction has been seriously glitching on me. For one my traffic stats haven't been working for over a week and I have this vague suspicion that I may have gotten messages and not been able to see them. I hope this is resolved soon, it's annoying.

Well anyway, this was requested by TheRoseandtheDagger. Just a note on this, but Jiraiya thinks about his death in the manga and the anime so let's just say that this is just more expounding done by your's truly.

* * *

"Made to Last Forever"

Prompt- Jiraiya and legacies

* * *

It was funny, all things considered, that it would be these two in particular who would be the death of him. And who would have thought that he would mean that literally instead of as a joke? Though technically he supposed that there were really six of them... no seven. Technically, but who ever did that?

But the really, truly ironic part was how beautiful the woman helping to murder him was.

He never would have supposed that the phrase "be careful what you wish for" could be so true. Though he had always thought that Tsunade would be the beautiful woman murdering him. Eh, didn't matter, either way he was dead. Pity but there it was. But at least he could see his old students one more time, he guessed it was official then, that they had grown up.

Her eyes didn't have that same old spark as they did when she was a child. It was sad really, but if he was right then it was to be expected. They were still beautiful though, a deep shade of thunder. He winced in pain as his laugh became a cough, who knew he would wax poetic when he was dying?

She seemed content, even when he was dying. She had helped though. Content? Wasn't _that_ a prod to his ego! But she was beautiful none the less, and that was something he could still appreciate even towards the end.

She really had grown up.

The boy on the other hand he didn't know what to make of. Every source of intel he had scrounged from all over the world said that Yahiko was dead. He had resigned himself to that fact and now here he was. But something was off... it had to do with all these six. And if Yahiko was still here, if Konan was still here where was Nagato? He had never heard of Nagato kicking it. And where did the other five come in? What was with the peircings? The same orangey colored hair?

He coughed again and frowned at his thoughts on the matter. No, Yahiko is dead. That was fact. The only thing that could explain this was the Rinnegan. He didn't like this one bit.

He vaguely wondered if there was any shred of Yahiko's soul left. But no, that would be impossible. Yahiko had sacrificed himself. And even if he had been resurrected the rule was still true that only one soul could inhabit one body at the same time. Memories weren't the same as the soul. It was impossible.

He was fading fast. He could see Fukasaku and Shima fading in and out of clarity. This wasn't good and he couldn't quite hear them clearly. He needed to pull it together, there was still so much to do.

Yahiko's sacrifice... he had died for his friends. It was noble in a way. This was noble too he supposed, fighting for their ideals like this. He just would have hoped that they hadn't felt the need to off him in the process. But what did he expect? He hadn't exactly been the exemplary teacher, he should have brought them back with them. They had just been kids. And he had just left them alone in the world. Even if they had wanted to fight for their home country they had still just been kids. He had been selfish though, hadn't wanted to keep with them any longer. Stupid, stupid old man!

This wasn't the time to be wry though. What was done was done. He still had so much to do.

The squirts sure had grown up. Now they were killing people and everything.

He stared blankly at the blood covering his hands. It was his own blood he realized. All his life coming down to this one moment. It was worthless.

All of it.

He'd never finish that last book, Kakashi would be disappointed. Speaking of which he wondered if Konan and Nagato ever...?

No! That was not something he wanted to think of as he died. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!

Who was he kidding? He was dying and he couldn't even do this right. Just one more time he hadn't finished something. One more time he had failed. He hadn't been able to _do_ anything. Save anyone. His life was a waste.

Naruto...

His precious student had named his son after himself essentially.

His life wasn't a waste. That kid. He would be his, and everybody's, legacy. Naruto was a promise. He hadn't failed the kid. That was something. He had taught that kid, and now that kid would save the world. That was something. That was _something._

He fisted his bloody hands. He could use these last few moments given to him to help that kid. Do one last thing for his village, his home. A final message from Jiraiya, Sannin, toad sage, pervy sage, mentor, teacher, friend.

His life wasn't so empty after all.

Numbers. He had to do this one last thing.

A flash of light and he was sinking.

But he had finished...

Dying wasn't anything much like he'd thought it'd be. It was like he was receding deeper and deeper into the back of his own mind. The pain was a hazy thrum in the fringes away from himself. He felt it, but it didn't feel quite real. It was almost nice if he could ignore the whole dying part.

He wondered if he'd be rememberd, he didn't want to just disappear like this. He hoped they'd find his body. But that too was something far away from himself.

No, he'd be remembered. They would put his name on that gaudy hunk of rock and maybe they'd cry a little over him. He didn't really like that thought but it was still gratifying.

It was almost time he thought, everything was so clear now it was black.

Tsunade... he wished he'd told her he loved her instead of just stealing her underwear every time he came back. Though she did have fabulous taste in underwear.

And Naruto, that kid, he could see his parent's in him. He could see the third in him, his own students in him, he could see Tsunade in him. He could see himself in him. It was all up to that kid now, all of their pasts and all of their futures. They were all Naruto's now.

"The Tale of Naruto Uzamaki"

He died with a smile.


	9. One Size Fits All

I love Team 8, they're my favorite team out of all of them. That we know about anyway. I'm not sure if the adult teams are the earlier numbers or if there are more teams of gennin and chunnin that we don't know about. I think that's the case though because the adult InoShikaCho only got back together because of the invasion... The first one... Not that it matters lol. Shino and Hinata forever! Hahahaha. Though Hinata's stutter is really annoying to write lol.

* * *

"One Size Fits All"

Prompt- Team 8 and growing up

* * *

"Dude! What's up with that coat? I can't see your face anymore."

"Y-yes Shino-kun, now-now all we can see are your t-toes." She laughed her little laugh at her joke.

He regarded them quietly for a minute and then dug his hands deeper into his pockets. They were much larger then the pockets of his old coat.

"I outgrew it."

"O-oh."

"Yeah but that doesn't explain why this one is so... so... I don't know! Big?"

He shrugged, "I like it."

"Well Kiba-kun, Shino-kun is a very b-big person."

Kiba snorted and looked at him sideways, "He isn't _that_ big."

"Kiba-kun! Are you j-jealous of Shino-kun?"

Kiba spun around and flung his arms out, "Of course not! Besides I have new clothes too. Ma got them for me for my birthday. She said Dad used to wear clothes like these!" He picked at the collar of his new coat and Akamaru barked.

"I also g-got new clothes."

Both boys turned towards her.

"But you didn't get any taller so why do you need new clothes?"

Hinata blushed a deep red and fiddled with her fingers. Number one sign that she was embarrassed and not just normal people-are-paying-attention-to-Hinata embarrassed but _really _embarrassed.

Kiba was now _very _interested in why Hinata had new clothes.

And so was Shino but he wouldn't say so, he usually didn't have to anyway. Kiba always asked the questions he wanted to without him having to go to all the effort. But they didn't have to know that either.

"Hin~ata! Is there something you're not telling us?"

She looked down at her feet and fiddled with her fingers_ and _her hair. Sign of extreme embarrassment number two.

"N-no..."

Kiba grinned and slung an arm around her shoulders, "Ah come on now, we're a team remember? We don't keep secrets! Come on! Tell us!"

Since Shino was beginning to become curious himself he wouldn't bring up the fact that Kiba kept secrets all the time. Usually because he was trying to pull a prank or something. Which he really didn't understand in the first place anyway.

"Kiba-kun! I'm n-not hiding anything!"

"Su~re. Hey! Come here," Kiba grabbed Hinata's wrist and drug her over closer to himself, and Akamaru.

"Now look at that face, see that face? How can you say "no" to that face?"

Ah, the old puppy face technique, literally. Hinata couldn't stand against Kiba when he pulled Akamaru into it. This was decidedly cheating. He smiled behind his collar. Another benefit of this new coat. He could smile and still nobody would know. Though it felt weird to be so open, even if nobody knew.

Hinata looked into Akamaru's eyes, her finger twiddling reached a whole new momentum. She was cracking. And then Akamaru tilted his head to the side and whined. Oh, she was done for now. Shino felt an odd sort of exhilaration.

"F-fine! Though th-this isn't very f-fair."

Kiba punched Akamaru's shoulder and sort of... yipped? He supposed it was an Inuzuko clan thing. _He _certainly didn't understand it.

Full blown smirk now in place Kiba sidled closer to Hinata, "We~ll? Come on! Spill! Why would Daddy buy you new clothes?"

"W-well..."

"Come on!"

Shino took an imperceptibly small step towards Hinata. Why was she so embarrassed about getting new clothes? He wanted to know...

No he didn't. He had more self-restraint then this. He respected Hinata too much then to push her into something that she was obviously uncomfortable about.

Oh, who the hell was he kidding? He was a _guy_ after all, of course he wanted to know, with a keen intensity that he blamed completely on Kiba for stirring Hinata up so much.

...

Yeah... That had to be it.

This was all Kiba's fault.

He took another small step forward, hands fisting in his deep pockets.

Come on Hinata, talk...

"I-I don't know..."

"Do you need to see the face again?"

She sighed. Good, she had given up totally now. For once he was grateful that she had so little resolve when it came to telling anyone "no". Normally this would irk him slightly but now he was just... glad?

"I-I got new clothes be-because I..." her voice faded to a very minute whisper, "be-because I..." here her voice became almost too quiet to hear and she spoke very quickly. In fact he almost missed it altogether. Almost. "Mybreastsgrew and now... none of my old clothes fit anymore!"

He wished he had.

Kiba's mouth fell open. If he hadn't had such great control over his body he may have done the same, instead he jerked slightly and let out a breath.

"WHAT?"

"Y-you asked Kiba-kun..."

"Well... Well that doesn't explain why you'd need new pants!"

"S-so did my-my hips..."

Kiba was such an idiot sometimes. He felt like slapping his face. But he didn't, that would be losing control. And he was soo not losing control right now.

To think that Hinata, of all people, would go and say her... boobs grew. He rolled that uncomfortable word around in his head. Man this was awkward. But he was also sort of proud, little Hinata was growing up... In more ways then one apparently.

Today was officially weird.

All three of them looked at each other for a minute in silence.

At least until Akamaru barked again and they were all pulled out of their revery by shock. Not that he would ever admit to that. Oh no.

Surprisingly Hinata was the first to break their silence. Besides Akamaru of course.

"W-What would I do-do without you guys?"

Kiba laughed and pulled them both into a group hug, well sort of, and they all began the trek towards Konoha from their training field. Shino, Kiba and Hinata, Team 8, side by side. Oh and Akamaru.

"I don't know, Hinata-chan, I don't know. Probably die from starvation because you'd spend all your time mooning over that Uzamaki kid and forget to eat." Kiba laughed.

"Kiba-kun! I w-wouldn't! Shino-kun, t-tell him I wouldn't!"

Today was weird, and so was friendship, but he liked it all the same.


	10. Who Needs to Know?

The next thing I'm going to post will probably be the next chapter of LoM. So keep an eye out for that, it's almost finished. :)

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"Who Needs to Know?"

Prompt- Naruto and shame

* * *

He had a secret, it was hard to keep too because he wasn't exactly the type of person to be quiet and actually keep secrets. He had never had secrets until now anyway. In fact it had always been other people keeping secrets from _him_. He was more of the type of person to let everyone know everything, every thought as it came to him. Whether that was because he was just an open person or whether it was because he just wanted everyone to know everything from a deep seated need to feel connected he had yet to decide. Or rather he really didn't want to think about it. He hated being psychoanalyzed.

He was _that_ kind of person. Whatever that meant.

So keeping this secret was especially hard, but he had to do it. For once he wanted people to keep out of his business and that meant that people now wanted to know what "was wrong with him". It figured that the one time he wanted to keep something to himself people were all over it like flies to a picnic. However letting people know would not only make him the laughing stock of all Konoha but it could also hurt his chances of becoming Hokage. It was _that _serious. And he didn't want to be an embarrassment. Especially to himself.

It wasn't even that he hadn't tried to fix it, but problems like that just didn't go away if you ignored them. In fact, now that he thought about it, ignoring things like this only made the problem worse. These sort of problems came back and stayed around for a while, like bad neighbors.

He wanted to ask someone about it, but what could he say? It was plain embarrassing; the problem itself and the fact that he couldn't manage it himself. He could only imagine the looks on everyone's faces. Kakashi-sensei, Yamato-taicho, that Pervert Sannin and that bastard Sai. He hated the thought that all those guys might look down on him if they knew. He definitely would not let anyone know, he'd rather turn himself in to the Akatsuki first... Well not really but that wasn't the point.

He had a vague suspicion that Iruka-sensei knew. But Iruka always seemed to know everything anyway. Especially how he was feeling, he was pretty sure that if anyone would understand it would be Iruka-sensei. But better safe then sorry. He hoped that if he never brought it up then Iruka wouldn't either. Even though he was dying to tell him and try to work out some sort of plan, but he didn't want to risk it.

Though something like this was hard to ignore and just not talking about it wouldn't be enough in the long run. Would Sakura...? No, she'd probably hurt him for being such an idiot.

He could make shadow clones like no tomorrow, and he could manipulate them fine, and not just his sexy ones. Jiraiya had told him he thought that this was easier for him because they were actual copies of his body and consumed massive amounts of energy rather then plain manipulated energy as illusions. It was the manipulating small amounts of power that got him every time. He just wasn't the manipulative type, it didn't click in his brain or something like that.

So to get to the point and be honest he still couldn't make a normal bunshin. He couldn't make substitutes either.

But nobody had to know that. It was his own dirty little secret.

* * *

Ok! Raise your hands, be honest, how many of you thought I made Naruto a baby-daddy? Ha. Dirty little secrets...


	11. Intentions

"Intentions"

Prompt- Hinata and bad habits.

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_The first time she had ever taken a life she had been seven and she had cried for hours afterwards._

~O~

"Happy Birthday Hanabi! Open this basket first." The housekeeper grinned and patted a medium sized basket that was wrapped in paper. Hinata noticed that there were already little holes and tears in the paper, Hanabi didn't seem to notice though and tore into the basket without a second thought.

There were other children here and they were all smiling. They were out in the garden, next to the koi pond and it was a beautiful day. All the trees were starting to bloom and on a table nearby was a large white cake and bowls of fruit and a pitcher of lemonade. It was always too cold for her birthdays to be outside. It was also too soon after Christmas, her birthdays didn't compare to Hanabi's or even Neji's when it was so hot out.

Hinata sighed, she wished her birthday could have been this happy. Her own party had been a gloomy clan affair, a brief mention after a meeting. It had been cold and snowy that day. One of the few gifts she had received had been a hair comb from a branch member; she had been told with disdain later by Neji-nii-san that he was a distant cousin and that his own little girl had died in the branding ceremony. He had told her that the little girl had been her age, that she had gone into shock and her organs had failed. She couldn't bring herself to wear that hair comb, it sat on a little cushion on her dresser. She looked at it every morning.

A high pitched squeal brought her attention back to the present. The blue and white wrapping paper had been torn away from the basket and a tail of the ribbon tied to the handle draped endearingly over the head of the cutest little kitten she had ever seen. It's fur was a caramel color and one black spot covered it's left eye. It had a few brownish-black stripes on it's back and tail, it was the perfect little kitten. It yawned and it's tiny pink tongue curled past it's tiny white teeth, then it batted at the ribbon with it's tiny caramel paw. She wanted that kitten.

Hanabi squealed again and hugged it tightly to her chest. It didn't seem fair at all that Hanabi got a party, got all these happy faces, got this _kitten_ and all she had gotten was the hair comb of a dead girl that she had to feel guilty about everyday. It wasn't fair. Why did Hanabi get everything and all she got were bitter looks and reminders of dead people? It wasn't fair._ It wasn't fair_. It wasn't fair!

"Now, now, dear. Be careful with that, it's still just a little baby. It's delicate. If you aren't careful it could get hurt," Hanabi loosened her tight clutch on the kitten and lowered it a little so she could look at it better. "Have you picked a name for it yet, dear?"

Hanabi's eyes were still large with wonder as she stroked the kitten's head with a single finger. "I want to name it... Name it... What should I name it Onii-san? I want it to be a good name!"

Hinata looked at her sister and then looked at the kitten. A good name? What would be a good name?

"You should name it... "Kyandi" because it's fur looks like caramel!"

Hanabi giggled and danced around in a circle with the little kitten held tightly to her chest once more, "Kyandi! Kyandi! Kyandi! I've got a kitten named Kyandi!"

Hinata's feelings of happiness and pride for naming the kitten dissipated in a matter of seconds. Even if she had named the kitten it still wasn't hers. She frowned and picked at the grass beneath her feet. She didn't see what was so great about a stupid kitten anyways. There were cats all over Konoha and she bet most of them looked twice as good as Kyandi! Oh who was she kidding, she just wanted a kitten too. She threw a handful of grass to the ground in front of her and sighed.

Hanabi had passed around the kitten and opened all her other gifts when the housekeeper told them that it was time for dessert and with a cheer all the other kids ran towards the picnic tables and began to chatter amongst themselves. The housekeeper was helping Hanabi to carefully cut her cake into reasonably sized pieces.

Hinata found herself alone with the kitten. She didn't want the cake, and she didn't care about the lemonade. How lucky was it that she was the last in the circle to get the kitten? She felt it's soft fur, felt it's tiny heart beat, heard it's quiet, little breaths. It was perfect. Hanabi wouldn't mind if she borrowed it for a little while. She was too busy eating her cake and laughing with another little boy. She picked up the kitten and made sure nobody was watching her, nobody seemed to notice that she hadn't gone with them and for once she was ok with that.

Looking around once more, she waited for both Hanabi's and the housekeeper's backs to be turned away from her before she ran away to the other side of the koi pond.

It was a large pond, but actually it was more like a very small lake. She liked it here. With the kitten in her lap she listened to the bugs chirring in the grass and the occasional splash as a koi's fin broke the surface of the water. The kitten began to purr. Today wasn't so bad after all. She sat there contentedly for a while before she began to get bored. She looked down at the kitten, it had gotten mud on it's paw. That wouldn't do. So laying on her stomach on the bank of the pond she dabbled the kitten's front paws in the water.

This was fun. The little kitten meowed loudly and she paused. Looking up she watched to see if anybody had noticed. She didn't see anything and she didn't hear anything so she began to play with the kitten again. She splashed it's front paws, the splashes got it's neck wet. She wetted it's back. It thrashed a bit but she just tightened her grip.

Holding the kitten in one hand she used the other to take her shoes off and roll up the cuffs of her pants. She didn't want her clothes to get too wet or dirty after she'd played in the pond. Her father didn't take to kindly to any fault on her part. The water was cool on her skin and she waded a little further. The water was now past her ankles. It was nice. She sat on her heels and put the kitten into the water, keeping a hand on it's back. It was mewling and trying to paddle it's tiny kitten body back to shore but she stopped it. She waded out further and further until the water came past her knees, she could feel the kitten shivering and paddling desperately for the shore but she wouldn't let it. She was having too much fun and she never had any fun, she wanted to keep playing.

What was the worst that could happen? She'd be scolded whether she didn't something bad or not. Her Father always found something wrong with her lately. That wasn't fair either. What made Neji so much better? Why did he have to look at her different then Hanabi? It didn't make any sense and she didn't want to care. She'd do what _she_ wanted for once. Angrily she pushed the kitten out into deeper water but it's legs weren't kicking as quickly as they had before. Something was wrong...

The kitten was sinking! Hinata began to panic, what was she going to do? This was all her fault! She had to save it! She tried to climb on top of the water but she sank and began to thrash herself. This wasn't fun at all! Where did the kitten go? She couldn't swim. This was all her fault. This was all her fault and she knew better! It wasn't her kitten, it was Hanabi's and the housekeeper had said that it was just a baby, it was delicate. If it was hurt what would she do?

She paddled frantically around that side of the pond. Her strokes were uneven, inefficient. She was tired and scared. She didn't like it at all and she still couldn't find the kitten. She tried to swim out deeper and the bottom of the pond fell out from beneath her feet. She could feel herself sinking, and her arms were already so, so tired. The water splashed over her head and she tried kicking towards the light, towards the surface. She couldn't breath. The water was going into her nose and it was getting harder and harder to get to the surface to breathe again. How much time had gone by? It felt like hours. She kept trying to paddle her arms like she had seen Neji-ni-san do in his training but she was tired and her head hurt and her chest hurt.

She felt her hand brush something soft in the the water, she grabbed it and clung to it desperately before letting out a strangled cry. She couldn't do it any longer. It was too hard. She began to cry and sink when she felt light again.

Opening her eyes she saw the housekeeper peering intently into her face. "Hinata-sama are you alright? Talk to me honey, tell me you're alright."

Hinata tried to say she was fine but instead all that came out was a painful cough and a mouthful of water. It seemed to be enough though. The housekeeper squeezed her tightly and groaned. "Lord have mercy I'd thought you'd gone and drowned yourself. You know better then to do something like that! What in god's name possessed you to do such tomfoolery? For heaven's sake child! What would I have told your Father should you have gone and got yourself killed?"

She was very cold despite the sun being high in the sky. She shivered and tried to get closer to the housekeeper. She was so dumb, why had she done something so stupid?

"What have you got there, Hinata-sama?"

Hinata opened her hands and a bedraggled lump of fur rolled out and onto her stomach. The housekeeper gasped.

"Hinata-sama! Why would you do such a thing on Hanabi's birthday and with her gift? Give it here and let's see what the damage is."

Hinata sneezed, she didn't understand what the housekeeper was saying. What gift?

When the housekeeper sighed it all came back to her and she felt the tears well once more in her eyes. "Is it ok?"

"Honey, this is why we don't play in dangerous places with babies, especially when they don't belong to you. Hinata, the kitten is dead. It drowned."

"W-what?"

"It drowned honey. It's dead."

The housekeeper had brought her into the compound and set her on a chair in the kitchen, close to the fire, but it didn't help she was cold on the inside now. She felt sick. She had killed it. She had killed the kitten. She was a monster!

"Now you sit tight, I'll go get you some towels, maybe a blanket and then we'll get you all settled with a nice, hot mug 'o tea. That sounds good doesn't it?"

She was gone before she could reply. She had killed it, she had been stupid and now it was dead. It was all her fault. All her fault. If she hadn't been jealous it would have still been here, she would still be able to play with it and she wouldn't have to face Hanabi. She felt numb inside.

She felt numb and she couldn't stop crying.

"I-I'm sorry. So so-sorry. It's all-all my fault. All m-m-my fault."

~O~

Hanabi never found out she had killed her kitten. The housekeeper had told her that it had run away while Hinata had been playing with it and that they'd get her a new kitten if they couldn't find the old one. Hanabi hadn't understood when Hinata had come to her sobbing about how it was all her fault. "It was just lost, nothing to cry about, it's ok Onii-san, you don't have to cry, it's not your fault." Her sister consoling her had only made her cry harder.

She buried that kitten under her window, next to the hyacinths. Only later did she come to learn what they represented, and the irony had come to keep her guilt company. She never forgot how easy it was to snuff out a life, how she had felt before and after. The numb pain, the guilt, and the knowledge that her carelessness had made her a monster.

The stutter never seemed to go away after that. Every word made her remember. She didn't want to forget either. She never wanted to kill again. She would work harder so that she never would have to fold and kill. That if she was stronger she wouldn't have to compromise. If she was stronger then she could stop mindless killing and pain.

That kitten was still under her window, buried in a pathetic cardboard box.

She never wanted to forget. She never wanted to be jealous or thoughtless or impatient again and every time she was she would remember that pain again. How that kitten hadn't lived because of _her._

She was a horrible person and _that_ at least was impossible to forget.


	12. Firestorm

This request/prompt came from Aelibia, who was gracious enough to trade with me. I hope this drabble is up to your expectations. :) The final word count was 739~

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"Firestorm"

Prompt (word for word)-

In 750 words or less, parody a Lolita-scenario between Kakashi and Sakura. If you haven't read the book, shame on you, it's a work of classic literature. But basically: After an interrupted sexual tryst between Kakashi and Rin the night before the fatal mission, Kakashi, still obsessed by visions of Rin and her untimely death in his later years, kidnaps 16-year-old Sakura as a psychological replacement. He then attempts to metaphorically "revive" Rin sexually through Sakura in the hopes that this will somehow cure this lingering obsession. Sakura, making the best of a bad situation, manipulates Kakashi sexually to get things that she wants. Told from Kakashi's point of view. Whether or not he is disgusted with himself is up to you. In the spirit of Lolita, no one is meant to be pitied! Not Sakura, not Kakashi. They are both despicable in their own way, however you choose to manifest that for Sakura. The title is "Firestorm."

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Regrets are not things that I enjoy.

Neither are what if's, if only's or could have been's.

Life as a shinobi, as a human, and as a man are difficult enough without them. Certainly without guilt. And definitely without inviting such feelings on one's self.

I have seen too many horrible occurrences in my life to bring myself to care about this one thing. I refuse to.

You may call me unfeeling or cold. Perhaps even a monster. You may call me any number of things but it will not change the fact that she used me as much as I used her.

And in the end, perhaps left me more broken then I was before.

~O~

They had not looked the same, and in fact their resemblance to each other ended with their gender.

One had had dark hair and eyes, with a presence that had been soothing. A poise and serenity about her that I had only come to appreciate once she was gone.

The other had stark features and bold coloring with a nature decidedly tempestuous and at odds with the goals she had set for herself.

However what drew me to her, like a moth to the proverbial flame, was her unadulterated devotion to her "love". It did not even matter to me who exactly that one-track devotion was aimed towards; all that mattered was that it was there. The parallels were striking and undeniable.

They drew me back, back inexorably to that night, and what _could have been._ A regret that I had never been able to overcome; not after any number of drinks, of jobs, of women.

At least not until now.

She had always been below my notice; merely one more duty in a string of tedious jobs that had to be done. Her skills were unremarkable, her intellect dependant on words parroted from books, her personality needy and obsessive. However her devotion and loyalty changed my mind and in the instant the dots had been connected I found I couldn't look at her as I always had before.

And it wasn't long until the image of my past regret superimposed itself to her's and eventually merged into one seamless desire. My own obsession even.

This irritated me. I felt it's weight more clearly then any other shackle on my mind had ever been or will probably ever be. She was always there. Day after day, looking at the horizon with _those_ eyes, thinking of _him_, and my past came to haunt me more resolutely then I could remember. I couldn't ignore her, I wanted her. It was sweet torture, it still is.

I convinced myself that one taste would be enough to clear my head. One caress, one murmured word and I would be free of this curse.

It was not so.

In retrospect, I suppose it is ironic that her lack of will would bind us together as closely as it has. I know it was surprising to find her clinging rather than pushing me away. All logic and good sense demands that what we have done be impossible, yet it is a vicious cycle that neither one of us is willing or able to break.

The parallels made me see her and the parallels hold together this mockery of a loving relationship. It truly is a hollow representation; but I lack the motivation to call a halt, to end this travesty, this orgy, of selfishness and lust.

I touch her in acknowledgment of a past that is frozen and will never get the chance to unfold, and she touches me in a futile attempt to grasp at a future that will never be.

So I find myself here another night. Identical to the one before it and identical to the one that will surely follow after. Abusing my power and self-respect, abusing her once innocent mind and body to fulfill both our desires.

It's obscene how easily we fall into our self-imposed roles.

She is already waiting for me, naked and beautiful, and the way she watches me undress with a smile on her face is sinful. I settle over the top of her, comfortably finding a place to rest is second nature after all this time.

She tugs on my mask until it slips to rest on my neck.

My eye begins to swirl a bloody, depraved red.

She touches my face.

The farce has begun.

"Sasuke."

"Rin."


End file.
